Quote of the day 5/7/11

If you are gonna make a taco, make the dang thing the right way…add some corn and kidney beans, you m0ron.

Advertisements

Butt Cheese Vampires

I am Boi, Spamberlie’s coolest friend, or actually not really her friend, my maah just hangs out with her maah and they make us hang out together when they are bored. Our friendship was solidified when we were about 3 years old and we made a water park in Spamberlie’s bedroom, and then I tried to drown Spamberlie in the family fun center, so she pulled a chunk of my hair out and spit it in my face. I enjoy smoking dill, licking ink out of rose art markers, my grampie, consistency licking my lips so I have a kool-aid mustache, cats and other small animals, and eating. My maah is so oblivious that I can steal the TV out of the living room with her on the couch and she doesn’t even notice. I enjoy food of all sorts, but my absolute favorite is frozen ravioli’s out of the freezer with a cup of ketchup drink. Sometimes I really love my maah when she makes sure I am absolutely comfy, but other times she is a butt cheese vampire. Making potions is the sport I am most best at. I like to put poo in bottles, and spread things like hot chocolate around my toilet. Maah just sits on it because that is what she thinks it is, but it is actually cuck. I like to trade things like my PS3 for other things such as can openers, animal carriers, bike parts, and random USB Cables. I have 347 different facebook pages, that way the butt cheese vampire doesn’t know which one is mine. I go to special school on a small bus, and every week we have a new bus driver, I am not sure why. I also find joy in sniffing Earl Grey, yum.  Spamberlie tries to beat me up, but the butt cheese vampire usually stops her. That is why I love my maah. The butt cheese vampire and I love when people stick pads to our backs. It is so funny. Sometimes when I have a bad day at school, I come home and snuggle with the butt cheese vampire. We watch mad Hulu. Lastly, Spamberlie and I enjoy collections of all sorts, she has the sweetest candy wrapper collection of anyone I know, but her collection doesn’t even compare to the broken cell phone collection I have hidden under my bed.

Ankle Affliction

You know, I have had some serious problems with my ankle.  I have been using a wheelchair and crutches to get around at school as well as in the community.  I injured myself laying on my futon and my ankle is ruined.  I had set the alarm for 3:45, but it never went off!  I never got to watch TAPS.  I layed down for so long that my ankle become destroyed from non-use.  My muscles began to atrophy. The dogs were barking outside, and it smelled like flowers.  Sometimes I like to look out my window and pretend that I see ghosts.  I then hire myself to investigate it.  I am part of the TAPS team!  I am the best ghost hunter in New Hampshire!  I have my own chapter, STAPS!

Mumma brought me to the doctors and they are a bunch of morons.  They say my ankle is fine.  They are obviously morons.  What do they know?  So, this coming Saturday, I plan to set the alarm for 3:15 and perform minor surgery on my ankle using a crochet hook, a toilet paper roll, tape, and a diabetic sock since those morons aren’t doing anything to help.  Not only are the doctors boring morons, but so is mumma.  She’s the devil’s wife.

Advice by Spamberlie

Always set your alarm clock for 3:45 am, so that you can wake up and watch TAPS (Ghost Hunters) while eating a breakfast feast comprised of 8 bagels,  two mugs of warm orange juice  ( I call it oj tea), pizza crust dipped in ranch,  cereal, oatmeal, purple drink, yogurt bar and a tub of cream cheese. Having a full breakfast is important, it helps you to become a strong alien cat!

What I want for dinner

Tonight I asked mummuh for something special, one of my favorites…guess!!!
Okay, I will tell you, it’s canned peas in the juice with ranch dressing on top, followed by beefaroni with melted nacho cheese and a glass of red drink. Yum

Spamberlie product reviews

Spamberlie product reviews :

My mummah bought me a futon for my bedroom, my previous was inadequate due to an abnormal bladder dysfunction that I sometimes suffer from, since I am allergic to people with freckles, but that is not the point.
I have been sleeping on the rod iron tri-star futon purchased from Walmart for around one month, my lumber support is now shot to hell, I sprain my ankle every time I lay on it, this futon causes me to have thigh spasms and involuntary muscle movement, I need to take inhales to feel rested.   If not for adult contemporary music during my witching hour, I would never be allowed slumber. I explained to my school nurse that I felt as though the spirits were punishing me for a crime committed, called being an amazing person/dinosaur. The nurse promptly gave me a tums and asked my what color my poop was, I said Dinosaurs primarily poop in the brown family, possibly burnt umber! The nurse agreed and called mummah to come pick me up, since I was clearly ill and needed full wheelchair access and or mobility. In short the futon is for morons and can only be given 2 stars or spambie thumbs up.

However I may feel different tomorrow, check back, or not… you moron.

Quote of the day 5/5/11

I have blond hair, that means I am an angle of God, my sister has red hair she is a devil of Satan.

Also Mummah, in case you don’t know.. Sleeping is also for morons, it’s boring.