Category Archives: Spamber says

Kerchiefs are fun

What is wrong with wearing a kerchief? My mummah thinks it is funny for some reason. I love my kerchief. It is green, and has leprechauns, pots of gold and root beer drink. Some of my favorite things.  I have lots of things that I like, but those are things that I really like. The butt cheese vampire also wears kerchiefs, and she is cool in a really mongoloid type of way. Throwing balls at the school wall is so fun. That is what I do in the morning when I catch the bus on time. Sometimes I wear my glove and catch it. No silly, not a baseball glove, a glove from the millennium that has the date 01-01-2000 on each finger. That is really cool. Your a moron so you don’t know what cool is. Mummah is a moron too.

Letter to Mummah

Dear Mummah,

Can you get someone to look inside my glass dog please? I think Ants are coming out of it because I was holing it and an ant just appeared on it. So please get someone to look in it. There is a little hole in the bottom and I want as little damage as possible.

Thank you,

Spamberlie

The Piccolo

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My mummah tried telling me last night that the piccolo is part of the woodwind family. I was like DUH mummah, I know. But what she failed to realize is that the piccolo is not even made of wood, it is actually made out of metal. Wood is really hard to build an instrument out of because it takes a long time to make it and make it sound good. So they use metal. Metal is really good for making anything that you want to make. It is cheap and makes things. TAPS uses lots of metal, and I use metal. Metal is good for making objects such as shanks. I mean, stuff to take to school and use for good. So mummah, here is a great big DUH for you, cuz woodwinds are for MORONS!

Quote of the day: 5/23/11

I saidddddddddddddddd, I hate small magic ant’s riding around in Wendy’s cup!!!!!!

Response: Um, yes honey.

Quote of the day 5/7/11

If you are gonna make a taco, make the dang thing the right way…add some corn and kidney beans, you m0ron.

Ankle Affliction

You know, I have had some serious problems with my ankle.  I have been using a wheelchair and crutches to get around at school as well as in the community.  I injured myself laying on my futon and my ankle is ruined.  I had set the alarm for 3:45, but it never went off!  I never got to watch TAPS.  I layed down for so long that my ankle become destroyed from non-use.  My muscles began to atrophy. The dogs were barking outside, and it smelled like flowers.  Sometimes I like to look out my window and pretend that I see ghosts.  I then hire myself to investigate it.  I am part of the TAPS team!  I am the best ghost hunter in New Hampshire!  I have my own chapter, STAPS!

Mumma brought me to the doctors and they are a bunch of morons.  They say my ankle is fine.  They are obviously morons.  What do they know?  So, this coming Saturday, I plan to set the alarm for 3:15 and perform minor surgery on my ankle using a crochet hook, a toilet paper roll, tape, and a diabetic sock since those morons aren’t doing anything to help.  Not only are the doctors boring morons, but so is mumma.  She’s the devil’s wife.

Advice by Spamberlie

Always set your alarm clock for 3:45 am, so that you can wake up and watch TAPS (Ghost Hunters) while eating a breakfast feast comprised of 8 bagels,  two mugs of warm orange juice  ( I call it oj tea), pizza crust dipped in ranch,  cereal, oatmeal, purple drink, yogurt bar and a tub of cream cheese. Having a full breakfast is important, it helps you to become a strong alien cat!