Summer Fun

I thoroughly enjoy the summer time. In the summer I can light fires, eat mad candy, and play on the tracks. The butt cheese vampire usually is so hot she does not want to come outside, so this give me the opportunity to do whatever I want. Maah is trying to get me to go to Camp Lajola with her, but I told that butt cheese vampire that she can shove that right up her butt. I want to swim, and walk around with no shirt on so my stomach becomes overly red. I love American flags, and riding my bike too. I want to start my summer business, where I get bike parts out of the trash and build bikes for cash. Dumpster diving is so fun, but I have to do it when the butt cheese vampire is not looking because she gets mad. One of my future endeavors is to get one of the infomercial guys to back me on making discrete dried herb holders, so butt cheese vampires everywhere will not find stuff like dill. You know, something like a floss container or a emptied out deodorant holder. But dill is hard to smoke as it explodes. Plus ice pops are the shit because I can’t have my frozen ravioli’s anymore as I have to hide them so the butt cheese vampire does not find them, and they melt. No good. My maah says it is because I have high blood pressure and am a prime candidate for pre diabetes. But I don’t want to take diabetes medicine because it makes me poop my pants all over the kitchen floor. I told her I am not going to make it to the toilet because she makes me take these shits. I have lost a quarter of a pound, so it is obviously working. At this rate I won’t even need camp Lajola. Summer is the best time of the year.

Ps. I wish the butt cheese vampire would stop making me listen to AFI and Evanescence as I like 50 cent yo. She thinks it calms me, but it actually just makes me want to play gangsta with my paper towel roll guns. I will pop a  bottle cap in that butt cheese vampire in her stank butt cheese self. And when I say stank, I mean stank, she is a fart machine sounding like the streets of wherever gangsters shoot things. I recorded it and made it my ring tone.

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